Two bits of advice for mommy-to-be’s
In the past year I’ve gone to a few baby showers and at each
shower I am asked to give advice to the mom to be…and I’m stuck. I’ve got
nothing. From his labor and delivery, the first year of Lincoln’s life was
anything but normal- from getting induced for a 36 hour labor, living at
Primary’s, scheduling oxygen, planning surgeries, working full-time, working on
my Master’s Degree, pumping, commuting Lincoln an hour two times a day for
babysitting, etc. I have no advice about labor, nursing, scheduling, sleeping
through the night, etc.
So when I found out I was pregnant, I was determined to
think of some good advice for ME as a new mommy-to-be (again) and write it out
for myself in a blog post (ie: be grateful when you get to hold your baby after
he’s born without tubes and oxygen, try as hard as you can to nurse but don’t
feel guilty if it doesn’t work, don’t put makeup or real clothes on the few
days after delivery because you’ll be HOME, etc. etc.). But when we found out we were having
twins all of that advice went out the window!
So…now what advice would I give myself and other
mommy-to-be’s? I’ve come up with two:
1.
“Faith in
God means faith in His timing” –Neal A Maxwell
It took us a year to get pregnant. It was a long year with
bouts of frustration, worry, guilt, sadness, and hopelessness. But after
finding out we were having TWO, I am very grateful that it took so long. I am
grateful that Lincoln is a year older, I am grateful that Russ is a year longer
into his jobs (so he can hopefully quit one of them before the babes come), and
I’m grateful that my sister-in-law had twins first so I could learn from her
example (she has 5 month old twins).
I am grateful that the Lord didn’t answer my pleadings and prayers as
quickly as I was hoping and I am grateful that He is in charge of the timing of
events in our lives.
That being said, I am now dealing with the ‘timing’ of the
delivery of these boys. Everywhere you look, read, or listen, you hear that the
number one risk factor of twins is premature labor and delivery. So I’ve
worried from the get-go that I wouldn’t be able to carry these twins as long as
they need to be carried. It is still a constant worry, but if I do my part, I
need to have faith in the Lord’s timing and the Lord’s plan for our family.
2. “Come what may and love it.” –Joseph B
Wirthlin
I think the hardest part of this pregnancy (except everything
being TWICE as bad as the first- not kidding) is the emotional ups and downs.
Our twins are Mono-Di twins meaning they are identical twins in one placenta
with two amniotic sacs. Besides being a high risk pregnancy because of
Lincoln’s heart defect and because of twins, the risks are even higher because
they are in the same placenta. I have appointments every two weeks with
ultrasounds to check on their progress.
Along with a ton of appointments (which I’m grateful for to monitor them
and me!), every weird feeling/pressure/pain I experience makes me worry that
something is wrong or that I’m going to go into labor. Along with the worry, I
have guilt if I do too much or too little throughout the day. If I do too much
(cooking, cleaning, appointments, etc.) I feel guilty that I’m not resting
enough for the babies. If I do too little I feel guilty about not being a good
mom, wife, friend, etc. We’ve also
been discussing our living situation. We are in a two-room condo right now and
are debating about moving into a little bit bigger condo, moving to a town
where Russ is doing a lot of work, moving in with my mom for a few months, etc.
Forever I was really stressed about where we were going to be (and the process
of moving right when the twins come).
Through all of this, I’ve learned that I just need to take a
big breath and say “Come what may and love it.” Come what may- if the twins are
born early and have to stay in the NICU; come what may- if I have to go on
bed-rest; come what may- if we move right when the twins get here; come what
may- if my house is a mess and my husband has nothing to eat. Come what may-
and love it!
